all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
