I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
