wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
