Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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