she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just blew my weed a kiss
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
