Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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