She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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