I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
