Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
