At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
