I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
