I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
