my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
