You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
