you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
