I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
