I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Found the puke drawer
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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