Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she woke up with a sticky ear
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
