That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
