I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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