Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize