your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
