Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
