I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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