I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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