problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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