Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
