I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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