At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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