i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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