I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
