I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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