before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize