Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
