I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize