glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
