Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
