You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
