I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
