just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
