We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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