Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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