I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
