Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
