I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
