Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
