so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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