i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Acid is not a monday night drug
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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