The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
