let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
