So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
how drunk are you?
Several
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
