a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
