all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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