There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
