party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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