3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
