oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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