I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
