I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
