Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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