I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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